6:58 p.m. - 2005-04-28
and another one bites the dust...
It's absolutely amazing to me that I find myself in the same exact position over and over and over again the past six years. scott and i break up, i fall head over heels for a new romeo, we break up messily and scott and i are no doubtedly back together very shortly after that.
vicious cycle huh?
if i love him so much to keep coming back for more then why do i stray in the first place? perhaps because i can't see what is right in front of me. what has been right the whole time, and i have only mistaken it for wrong.
i don't know, and i don't care.
i let a good one go this time kids. he was a fireman. a tall and strong and handsome fireman. one that hasn't let me open a single door in a month, one that carries an umbrella so i don't get wet just in case it rains. one that fils up my gas tank for free and checks my car daily because he doesn't want for anything to happen, you know "just in case". this man thought i was everything. he called me his princess, described me as "amazing" and thanked me every day for coming into his life.
he dropped the love bomb after one week.
yeah, thats right he fell hard and fast. he wasn't alone in his falling though, this time i was right there with him. living it up and bragging about my big, bad fireman.
so why do you ask, did it end????
my heads still turning at this one. apparantly mr. fireman had some doubts that he didn't want to fill me in on. with me we was wonderful, put me up high on that beautiful pedastal that women should be on. he loved me and took care of me for that brief time and never let anything dangerous come my way. he was smart, gorgeous, and oh so sweet, sometimes.
then he went to his buddies (and mine) at the firehouse and told them that he hadn't decided if we were going to work out. i have too much on my plate. too much drama in my life. he told them that we hardly ever see each other and barely know each other.
if thats the way people touch each other when they barely know one another, then apparently i've been living in the dark ages.
then he comes back to me, talking about getting a place together, and how he would love to make me his wife one day.
what a crock of bullshit.
his parents don't approve of me. they think that because i have lived on my own since 17, there is something seriously wrong there.
whatever.
they don't like me because i smoke.
i think they have issues.
they have three kids, ages 30, 25, and 23, and they all live at home. never been out of the house. they are all big babies. that, my friends, is not cool with me.
oh well, men like that are a dime a dozen.
right????
help me out here folks, i need some help.
